Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The TRUE Nefarious Powers Controlling Both U.S. Political Parties

For years, I've heard various people complain about how American politics is so corrupt and dismal, with both of the major political parties - despite some nuanced, window-dressing differences - being ultimately, fundamentally aligned against justice, decency, and the American people.

After all, depending on the ideological leanings of the complainer, the lament is how the top leadership of both the Democrats and the GOP show that when push comes to shove, they really operate as primarily beholden to the warmongers, socialist-big-government machine, corporate shills, elite-limousine-liberals, oligarchs, plutocrats, theocrats, abortocrats, gun-o-crats, pollutocrats, and/or Harvardcrats whose corrupt access to disproportionate power enables them to trap our entire society in inescapable subservience to the evil agendas and policies of this or that tiny cabal of puppetmasters.

However, all such complaints dramatically fail to see the bigger picture.

In a shocking new expose, the International Business Times reveals how now-President Obama, like Presidents Clinton, Bush I, Reagan, and Ford before him, is a card-carrying member of that elite 10% of Americans who are wrong-handed.

Think about it: only 10% of the population, but two-thirds of the Presidents in the last generation. What's that tell you?

The 2008 election was a sure sign that this increasingly powerful elite has grown to a scary extent in their power to impose their wrong control, policies, and hands on us good, decent, patriotic, hard-working, properly right-handed folk. Senator Obama's major opponent, Senator McCain, was also wrong-handed.

This is eerily reminiscent of that Simpsons episode when the two evil aliens take over the bodies of Clinton and Dole right before the 1996 election. Except that this is frighteningly real.

Even before that 2008 farce of an "election," it was clear that no matter who won, Obama or McCain, the Southpaw Syndicate would win.

And they won.

These may be very dark days for democracy...

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Another Theological Profile Quiz

Well, looks like I may have been in the right church/denomination after all.

So I took this quiz - which is online, and therefore scientific and therefore infallible - and it told me:

"You Scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly [sic] by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

82%
Classical Liberal

61%
Roman Catholic

57%
Reformed Evangelical

57%
Neo orthodox

54%
Emergent/Postmodern

46%
Charismatic/Pentecostal

39%
Fundamentalist

36%
Modern Liberal

7%



Not quite sure why I scored as high as I did for "Classical Liberal" or how exactly that's defined as different from "Modern Liberal."

Some of my score is probably skewed by my really not liking the way some of the questions were worded.

All the same, such quizzes are always fun.

Which raises the $60,000 question: What's in your theological wallet??


(point of clarification: the scope of this quiz is limited to Christian traditions)